Renewed Musings - Personal Update

The last post I had was a tribute to my Mom.

And a temporary suspension of posts.

So I thought I would update you all.

The saga dealing with the aftermath with Mom's passing has a trying time. Breaking me down. But I'm starting to feel a bit better about the whole situation.

And... I admit I miss do my posts.

I do have some comedian posts I want to finish. But I'm not exactly in a funny mood. So, eventually those will get finished, but I don't have a timeline for those.

But I have do have some movie posts I would like to get out there. I have a June Blockbuster post, but it will be late. And a July Blockbuster post to go with it. Also, will be seeing both Elvis and Thor Love and Thunder as soon as possible, so reviews will be coming(and I have to go back and review Uncharted). I also thought about doing a couple of lists as tribute to my Mom(one for movies about Moms or focused on them, and one maybe highlighting some of her wonderful movie tastes). And I was thinking about some wrestling related posts. And some gaming posts.

So... ideas ARE brewing. And I just have to get them out of my head and into posts.

It will be a process. And thank you for understanding.

I lost so much in a month's time. I felt like I lost almost everything. And... I know there are pieces of me that are just gone. But I discovered that I still have so much left around me. And maybe I can repair some of those broken pieces... maybe I can find some of those piece I thought were gone... and maybe... I can find new pieces to redesign myself.

Bear with me... readers... friends... and family. While I figure out what that is. What it is going to be. And know that I will be here soon... slowly getting back to some of the stuff that I love.

I am going to highlight my favorite movie. Disney Pixar's Inside Out. It is one of the BEST depictions of Depression I've ever seen in a movie. So many people are like "Depression is just being super sad. Stop being sad." But... it isn't. Depression is the absence of sad. The absence of being happy. They just aren't there. If I could be sad... I could get it out. If I could be happy... I could heal it. But they just aren't hanging around. But I have been seeing them... they are visiting. And I'm starting to feel better.

So... all of you. I'm getting there.

And... thank you.

Thank you.

"Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma."

"Comedy is acting out optimism."

"If Heaven exists, to know that there's laughter, that would be a great thing."

All of those by Robin Williams.

I'm ready to laugh again. For real.

Tragedy Plus Time Equals Comedy

I wanted to post something. I have plenty of feelings going out... many thoughts going through my head. And I need to share them.

So... let's start.

On Sunday, May 29th, I lost my Mother unexpectedly. She was one of my heroes. A nurse for over 25 years. She helped so many people. And honestly, I feel lost without her. I'm going to miss her smile. I'm going to miss her hugs. I'm going to miss the memories we still had yet to make. I'm going to miss her chili. I'm going to miss... her. I already do. And... no... I'm not religious. But... I believe she is looking over us.

I realize... now more than ever how important family is. And... that family has a much broader definition than what you know...

Proudly... I am a Lowe, I am a Parrigin, I am a Ballard, I am an Adams. But I'm also a Smith. I'm also a bit of a Garlen and a bit of Eva. A bit of Hayes. And I'm also a bit of Best Buy Blue... and T-Mobile Magenta. Those are my families. In some way, shape, or form. They all are.

We are all sums of those parts, whether we believe it... whether we know it... whether we understand it. It is true.

And I'm grateful for my family.

I need to do better showing it.

To my "family" that reads these blogs, I am temporarily suspending my posts. I need to. More so because my mind is very jumbled. And I have to get my mind right. But I will return. Mom would want me to do it. And I don't want to let her down.

I need time to get my heart back in it. To get the words back in it. I will get there.

Hopefully, the equation works. Tragedy Plus Time Equals Comedy. And we need to be funny again.

Until then, hold on to your family. Love them. Because you just never know.

To quote Sting(wrestler, not musician).

"This isn't Goodbye, it's just see you later."

And you will see me again.

Thank you for supporting me on here. And thank you for your understanding.